Thursday, August 14, 2008

Olympics Edition!

In light of the fact that the Olympics are taking place, I thought I would take time out to comment, even though I *do* have a class I’m supposed to be teaching, and a WIP (work in Progress that, at this particular moment, I’m extremely excited about) to say three things:

1. To China: I don’t usually get political on this blog (too many opinions, and I like to keep it light), but I think you guys are so borderline. In addition to your communist dictatorship and the oppression of your people (including rampant propaganda and lack of free speech) the fact that you’ve shown viewers fake fireworks and changed out a little girl in the opening ceremony because she was “not cute enough” is just pathetic. There’s no reason anyone should be suffocating under your cloud of ridiculous smog, and, in my opinion, no one should’ve invited you to host the Olympics.

Which leads me to:

2) To the little girls on the Chinese gymnastics team: Go home. We all know that there is no possible way that some of you are 16 years old. I hope that, when we get our people out safely so we don’t have to worry about your tyrannical prison camps, someone challenges your performance and takes back that gold medal you had to cheat to win.

(Which leads me to thank God I’m not living in China, because I’d be thrown in said prison camp for saying that.)

And finally:

3) To Michael Phelps: You’re a freakin’ fish. I’m not so sure I could handle your 12,000 calorie a day eating regimen because I don’t really like to cook, but hey, I love you just the same.

Have a great weekend!


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