Monday, March 15, 2010

Barbie -n- Me

I’ve had Barbies on my mind lately. Mainly because I can’t walk into a room without stepping on one . . . usually one that’s naked. If my mom hated Barbies because she was always sucking up their shoes in the vacuum cleaner . . . I hate them because they’re exhibitionists. Like I’m hosting some kind of nudist colony in my living room.

Besides that, I don’t particularly care for them anyway. I’m not sure why. Just the whole perfect body perfect guy perfect life thing.

I couldn’t even make a conscious decision to keep them out of my house, thanks to a well-intentioned family member who bought Baby Girl her first Barbie when she was two years old. Yes, I said two. Since then it’s been totally downhill, and the play room is covered with naked dolls and their clothes and their necklaces and shoes and their accessories: bicycles, cribs, and yes, even toilets.

Even though Barbie and I have a love/hate relationship (I love to hate her even if it doesn’t stop me from buying her), Barbies were a HUGE part of my life growing up. I had a Barbie Dream House (Baby Girl has a castle . . . but that’s at Grandma’s, thank God). I had a pink Barbie Corvette (Baby Girl has a remote control purple VW Bug). My Barbies had lots of clothes (Baby Girl’s . . . well, you know).

So the other day in the car, my four almost five year old baby and I were having a discussion about Barbies. Somehow we got on the subject of my favorite Barbie outfit. I didn’t have to think twice. I told her about this beautiful dress my Barbie had: it had a white shimmery top with a sweetheart neckline, and the bottom was made of this sheer/gauzy peach fabric. It was a beautiful ball gown, and I wanted one of my own.

I don’t know where this dress came from (if someone had given it to me/passed it along, whatever), but I *loved* it. “Barbie” never wore it much. I always gave it to Winnie. I don’t know if that was her real name, but she was the Barbie with LONG brown hair that almost touched the floor. I think I may have named her that because of Winnie Cooper on The Wonder Years. I taught myself how to French Braid hair because of that doll.

So you can imagine my sheer and total SHOCK when I was passing through the Barbie aisle at Wal-Mart on Friday and saw this:

That Barbie, with my Favorite Dress, has been reissued. Of course, I picked it up, squealing, and said:

“Guy who I’m sorta married to but not allowed to talk about online: Do you KNOW what this is?”

Guy: “No.”

Me: “Remember the other day when I was telling Baby Girl about that Barbie dress I loved?”

Guy: “No.”

Me: “I hate you. You never listen to me. But this is IT!!! This is the dress I was talking about!”

It was a complete and total flashback: to Barbies getting ready for dates with Ken and their scarily proportioned bodies with too-large chests and non-existent waists . . . arms at uncomfortable right angles . . . standing on their tip-toes.

And Ken: with his follicle-free, muscular body and painted-on underwear. The Ideal Guy. Because really, ladies, who doesn’t want a hairless guy with painted-on panties?

And the time Ken must’ve lost a leg or a neck (you can *never* get his head back on right once it comes off) and I cut one Barbie’s hair really really short to make her a man. Because if you cut your hair off and put on a suit . . . you can be a guy, No Problem.


This blog has no purpose whatsoever. There is no moral of the story. I just saw something from my past that brought back a whole bunch of memories. The Barbies who have currently taken up residence in my home? They’re okay, I guess. Though I’d like them a whole lot more if they’d consider getting dressed in the morning.

That Flashback Barbie is from 1985. I was three years old. Her name? Peaches and Cream. Yeah. I know. Actually, the more I think about it, the more perfect she is for our house. It’s impossible that a girl with a name like Peaches could stay dressed for very long.

How about you? Share your Barbie tale/memories here!


Shana Norris said...

I totally recognized that Barbie when I saw the picture and squealed, "Peaches and Cream Barbie!!" That was also one of my favorites. Absolutely beautiful dress. I played with it so much that by the time I got rid of my Barbies the dress was a dirty brownish color and was ripped in various places.

I loved my Barbies. I had the Barbie townhouse, but I would always take each floor apart and make four two story houses out of it so that my brothers and sister and I could have this little Barbie neighborhood. Because yes, I used to make my little brothers play Barbie with me, lol!

Leigh Brescia said...


(lol) I made my little brother play Barbies with me, too!

My dress ended up ripping, too, and the sash got lost and all the shimmery cellophane whatever it was rubbed off the top.

Great dress, though!

So sweet of you to share your townhouse! :)